11.06.2026 - a reflection of sorts
it felt as if i were reciting a soliloquy about my self-preservation, auditioning for survival, for a heartless, pitying audience.
in the end, none of it mattered that much.
behind the paper-thin walls, in between the gap of the doors that were supposed to be closed, outsiders peering inside already formed an opinion on the role i played.
and to the audience, their voices mattered more than mine. no matter if they were brimming with malice, or if they had the purest of intentions.
for them, my existence in their life was all part of a performance, and nothing more. a performance that they expected to consist of only benefit and elation.
i should've never expected any understanding; that was clearly beyond them.
i feel bitter, and exhausted.
an encore would only further villainize me.
i wish to never return to that stage.